It's a two year curse.

I went around emotionally cutting myself, finding reasons to why my relationship just shouldn't work.
I found nothing of the sort.

I find that my certain insecurities are the ones that have continued to keep me at bay from ever risking anything. Officially, I find that once you claim to find yourself, you tend to get lost because you were influenced by the sudden urge to go "find yourself".

You can convince yourself that someone isn't for you, or vice . You can convince yourself that you were too young to fully understand that little thing on the side called responsibility and made bad decisions also blaming it fully on being naive and young.

The question is, when you realize all of this .. what are you really convincing yourself now of?
that it wasn't real? or that it was, but it just wasn't meant to be?

What if your caught at a crossroad and have no idea what to do nor which way to face?
Who, what and when was it ever real?

I wish that they could see the pain that they've inflicted, the memories that can never go away, and the hurt that never fully recovered.

It's the ode to the fallen, the poem to the confused, and the last cut of the emotionally psychotic.