Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Part I

There was something he wasn't telling me. I could feel it in the way he spoke, the intensity of his grasp on my wrist, the urgency of his eyes - Why couldn't he just say it? If it was I in his position, I'd trust in him; that four letter word should be enough to trust him.


In Denial:

Most of the days are kind of lagging lately. The situation I'd find myself in is always the one where I find myself weaker than normal, so why does it seem that every day it's been this person I can't understand?
This game I always end up playing is dangerous to myself and my own sanity. A few days of being ghost, a few days of being social and a few days of being me has always been such a hassle. Why is it I'm in such denial when it comes to the trials of my own being? I remember that feeling.. You know that feeling where you felt like you needed to sacrifice yourself for the being of someone else? That feeling where you think your life is finally on the right track and that you think your crazy .. and you don't recongnize your actions because it feels so real?
When you get broken down, judged and then you believe otherwise?

When you believe that your angel is your world, but your angel is the cause of your hurt and pain. Most importantly, your angel was nothing short of a regular imperfect being who brainwashed you in thinking that they were perfect for you. What is left to deny?

That, my friends, is Denial.

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